Photo originally uploaded by: tcnineteen
The reasoning behind friendship for most of us is that sometimes it just happens, but at certain times, it’d seem like crossroads that two people would never meet again. I often ask myself as to why it’s this way, just like at certain time that I’d meet someone that’s really nice, but yet afraid to approach or get to know that person, might be that I’m afraid that they might think that I need something from them.
I guess it’s from my own personal experiences and looking from my own prospective that most that approached me because they want something from me, such as wanting me to do something for them, not truly want to be my friend, and once they get what they want and have no need for me anymore, then it’s the end of that friendship, this type of friendship is with condition and I seem to have a lot of that lately. As for this reasoning, I’m very cautious in approaching people, especially if they made it known to everyone how successful they’re as an individual, afraid that they might think that I need something from them.
I’m wondering how the other person that I’m afraid to approach would feel, it’s possible that others would also be afraid to approach him/her, might afraid to be wasting his/her time. Also, we have the tendency to think that since s/he is so successful in life, that s/he might not need any help and can take care of him/herself, which might have some truth to this and this person might be so busy with his/her life that s/he wouldn’t even have time for socializing with friends, let alone new friends.
I think sometimes meeting people at places such as ground zero during 9/11 disaster, or the tsunami in 2004 would most likely bring about real friendship because it’d be hard for anyone to fake or try to make themselves to look good amongst the horrific tragic of the events, and most would try to help as much as they can and give 100 % of themselves in what they’re doing.
Those that were there have had common interest, and that was to help alleviate suffering of others, in situations like these, I believe would bring about true lasting friendship, but it’d be something that most of us wouldn’t do, especially when looking for new friends. We have the tendency to want to meet new friends at happy places, such as churches, bars, or family get together, but this we’re taking the risk of not knowing the true self of that person, it’s sort of a hit and miss situation and if you’re lucky, that person might be a good person. If seeing them face-to-face were this way, then what about meeting people on the internet, EXTRA cautious I’d say, might be one in a million that you’d meet a good person that might bring about real friendship. I often judge people by their actions, words to me doesn’t mean a lot, it’s said, but if no action were to follow, then it’s meaningless, might as well not saying it at all.
Friendship should be something that is lasting because it’s based on a foundation that require the least in return, if a friendship were based on expectation of personal gain, then it normally doesn’t last very long. I’ve several good friends, not many mainly because I’m very cautious in meeting new people, and might be because new friends have certain expectation of me, it’s always something that they want me to do for them, but looking back now, those few friends that I have, we’re still friends because they don’t have any expectation of me, some I don’t talk to on a regular basis, but never the less, time might pass, but once we meet again, that friendship is still there because deep down inside, no matter how successful they are in life, they never once look down on me and might be because our friendship is based on no expectation of one another, this type of friendship I discover last forever.