Personal Matter

marriage.jpgIt’s a personal matter, but it seems that it’s everyone’s business, if you’re still single then they’ll ask, when will you get married?

Whether you’re a guy or gal, if you’re at the age that you should be marrying (by their standard), especially in the Lao (Asian) community, most likely your friends and family members will ask you, as if concern for your well being, as to when will you get married (more likely being nosy, I believe.) Sure enough, asking once is not enough, most likely they’ll ask you repeatedly, the same question over and over…until you’re sick and tire of hearing this question…when will you get married?

It’s worse if you’re a female, and your age is approaching 30 and still single; not only will they ask you when will you get married?, but many other questions to follow such as, are you a lesbian?, seeing these questions coming at you’d make you want to run and hide.

As for those single gals and guys out there, especially in the Lao (Asian) community, people will scrutinize you to see why you’re still single, such as not pretty (handsome) enough, possibly ill manner or might not be normal, if you’re a guy then possibly gay. You obviously can’t convince anyone that you truly want to be single, that you’re happy being by yourself.

As for the Chinese community, it’s even worse, especially if you’re a guy, Ah Ma, Ah Pa will try to force you into marrying someone because they want to have grandchildren, old people tend to get lonely, and do you blame them? They also want their grandchildren to carry on the family name, and it’s such a big deal for Chinese people.

Then I saw a story of ‘Man marries himself’ in China. What is wrong with this picture?

Liu Ye apparently has been asked, ‘when will you get married?’ once too many, and a bit annoying by the whole deal, I’d assume. I think it’d be very difficult to find a suitable bride (female) in China this day because (Source by Nexus) “Since the eighties, a huge surplus of men build up in China and other Asian countries. This is the result of a traditional preference for male offspring and the modern ability to detect the gender of a fetus in an early stage. As a consequence of selective abortion and the neglect of female infants, the natural ratio between boys and girls has been distorted. In parts of China and India the surplus of boys/men has risen to 12 – 15% of the total population.”

Despite all this, he decided to get married, maybe then they’ll stop asking.

A Chinese man has married himself to express his “dissatisfaction with reality”.


Liu Ye, 39, from Zhuhai city, married a life-sized foam cutout of himself wearing a woman’s bridal dress.

“There are many reasons for marrying myself, but mainly to express my dissatisfaction with reality,” he said.

“This marriage makes me whole again. My definition of marriage is different from others.”

The ceremony was held at a traditional courtyard packed with more than 100 guests.

The ‘couple’ was led out by a bridesmaid and a groomsman and bowed to ancestors and senior guests for blessings.

Liu says he is not gay, but admits he’s “maybe a bit narcissistic,” reports New Express.


  1. I’m married to myself I think. Doesn’t matter. Do you know that many people today prefers to be single and wiser than being married and miserable?

    In a Christian point of view, it says that it is not a sin to remain single, even your entire life. The most important things in life are not in finding a mate and having children, but in serving God.

  2. K, marriage institution is one of those that ‘the married’ want to get out and ‘the single’ want to get in, the grass seems greener on the other side, but then there’re many of us that are happy with our status whether it’d be single or married. Several of my American co-workers/friends lived together for a long, long time, but once they’re married, they want a divorce; I’m a bit puzzled and baffled by all of this. 😐

    I think staying single is a choice that many people are making this day and age, nothing wrong with that as long as you’re happy. And K, you’re married to your blog, remember? 🙂

  3. As for my anony*mouse* reader from, I hope that you don’t think I’m judging you because you’re over 30 and still single…Yes, it’s a personal matter! 🙂 and thanks for all the traffics 😉

  4. Hahaha, what a great story. I have three brothers that are married. Two of them have children already. When my parents asked me when will I have a family of my own. I told them to leave me alone and that they have grand-children already.

    When I graduated from the university, a few days later my mother asked me when will I have a husband. My parents went so far as to find two men from Laos with pictures for me to choose.

    It’s not like I ever had a hard time getting dates. I was being courted by all these young Republicans at my university. But I was too busy with my study and my work. I didn’t go to school to look for my mate.

    My youngest brother and I talked about marriage and he said it is not for everyone. He dated in high school and had his fun the first couple of years of college. He still dates but he doesn’t want to have a family. Many Laotian parents are bugging my family because they want my brother for their son-in-law. Even people from Laos want him to sponsor a wife from there. I told him not to do it, not to please my parents in a way that it will cut 5 years of his life.

    Marriage doesn’t equal instant happiness or fulfillment. It’s a recipe for some but not for all.

    Don’t get me wrong. I’m still a hopeless romantic. Who knows maybe I will just say yes to Johan and live in the land of tulips and cheese forever. 🙂

  5. I think it’s only human nature to want to know about other people’s business, but there is a fine line between having an interest and being nosy, and some people just can’t distinguish that. 😦

    If you decide to live there, then I might get to visit you there one day. 🙂

  6. I know some westerners (or Americans) don’t usually like to ask each other about personal stuff. Especially concerning religion, wages, and weight.

    Neat story about the Chinese man married to himself. Narcissistic and not gay? Very funny. Well, some of us find love early on & others later. But eventually it will happen. Unless of course you don’t want it. That is the joy of being able to following your own heart.

  7. Salat, I agree that most Americans don’t like to ask about personal stuff, which to me makes sense because they also don’t like to offer this information; it’s a ‘personal matter’.

    As far as in love and marriage, you sound just like someone I knew, great minds must have think alike. 😉

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