I’ve heard of the term emotional IQ before, but never knew that there’s a technical term for it, it’s called Emotional Intelligence Theory (EQ – Emotional Quotient), which is a relatively recent behavioral model, rising to prominence with Daniel Goleman’s 1995 Book called ‘Emotional Intelligence’. Emotional Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organizational development and developing people, because the EQ principles provide a new way to understand and assess people’s behaviors, management styles, attitudes, interpersonal skills, and potential….a bit boring I think.
I think using it in the business aspect is a bit boring, but applying it to our daily lives is more interesting and worth looking into. I think many of us, when we feel low, we’ve the tendency to think and drill on the bad stuff that is happening to us, sort of feeling sorry for ourselves, which eventually will lead to depression. One thing that we all should keep in mind is that ‘we are what we think’; if we can acquire new knowledge by educating our mind, then we should also be able to do it with our emotion as well.
There’s no right or wrong way of doing this, we just have to think about what would work best for us; take me for instance, I’m Laotian, and my root is from the East, but currently living in the West; obviously, I couldn’t live my life 100% Eastern way, I wouldn’t be able to survive, too many sharks out there, but at the same time couldn’t bring myself to live like the Westerner, I guess I still have self pride of whom I am. The best solution for me is to combine the Eastern philosophy and Western way of thinking, and life style to balance out, and don’t forget the positive thinking to go with that, even though ‘a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.’ It seems to work well for me, and I think it’s an interesting way of living and looking at life. Your approach might be very different from mine, and there’s nothing wrong with it, if it works for you that is.
How does one train an emotional IQ? Assuming that you are feeling sad, it would help to break away from that sad thought and to replace it with happy thought instead and I believe that we all have, at one point in our life, something happy to smile about. If you keep doing this, every time you feel sad or down, try to replace it with happy thought, then eventually the happy thought will replace your feeling of sadness, and no doubt in my mind that you’ll be having less and less of these sad feelings. If you don’t believe me, try it for yourself, and let me know how it turns out, not that I’m using you as a guinea pig or anything like that. Another way is to help others, seeing them happy will most likely make you feel happy as well. If picking on someone makes you feel happy, by all means, no one is stopping you, just don’t do it to the point that others might feel sad. You are what you think, so think happy thoughts.