This post is for my oldest sister. In case you’re wondering, this is what they’ve been doing…busy in the garden, but first let me show you my second sister’s water lilies, she called me last night to tell me if I get there by noontime, they should be in full bloom.

Dad’s garden.

I came from a family of seamstress and for us to have a fascination for silk fabric is not surprising at all, my oldest sister loves silk fabric, but I believed she is more familiar with the Thai silk than the Lao silk, I think Lao textiles are no less beautiful than the Thai textiles.

I recently learned about a company that manufactured Lao textiles through the Today Show called Ock Pop Tok, means East meets West. From their website, Lao textiles are still used in many aspects of daily life from ceremonies to the household such as,

• Pha Bieng Scarf for the upper body (used by Buddhists)
• Pha Hom Blanket
• Pha Sabai Healing cloth
• Sihn Skirts
• Pha Phok Long Funeral cloth
• Pha Kaan Head cloth
• Pha Phii Mon Shaman Cloth
• Pha Mong Mosquito net decoration
• Pha Khan Mon A love gift handkerchief
• Pha Tung Prayer Flag

What I find fascinating is their ‘Silkworms & Natural Dyes Workshop, Dye your own Scarf,’ this is on my to-do list if I’m ever in that area and if time permits. Below is the agenda for the workshop, and I found photos by annamatic3000, Anna Lee who took the class during her visit to Laos,

Spend the afternoon in a stunning Mekong riverside garden. Prepare natural dyes and dye your own silk scarf. The workshop looks at silkworms, natural dyes and weaving techniques. The afternoon’s programme is interactive and full of fascinating information; a unique and entertaining opportunity to learn about silk dyeing & weaving.

Meet the silkworms. First there is an explanation about the worms’ lives; where they come from, who makes silk in Laos and a bizarre list of facts regarding sericulture. Guests are invited to prepare mulberry leaves and feed the worms.

Below are the mulberry trees on a misty morning Vangviang Organic Farm, Laos. The mulberry trees provide leaves to feed to the silk worms, plus mulberry tea, mulberry wine, and mulberry shakes.

Dye your own scarf with a natural dye. After a brief introduction to the natural dyes, guests are invited to prepare a dye source. Indigo – green, turmeric – yellow, sappan – pink or purple, lemongrass – light yellow, annatto – monk robe orange, indigo paste – blue. After preparing the dye source white scarves are dyed in the chosen colours.

Below are Turmeric (yellow), Annatto seeds (monk robe orange), Indigo leaves (blue green), and Sappan wood (purple)

Try weaving & meet the weavers. After an introduction to weaving techniques guests are invited to try weaving and spinning on our demonstration looms.

From Anna: Here is one of the center’s weavers in action. There is an area with about 8 looms where the women are busy at the looms, chattering and laughing with one another while working.

From Anna: Believe it or not, this is how a pattern is recorded on a loom. The weaver designs her pattern here, by tying horizontal strings to select vertical strings. Those select vertical strings are, in turn, tied to select strings on the warp. An expert weaver would be able to look at this and see what kind of pattern it would produce.

Below are cocoons, and some luscious rolls of dyed silk.

Boiling of cocoons.

Silk threads soaking in the turmeric dye.

From Anna: Approaching the weaving village (Luang Prabang, Laos), we saw silk tapestries for sale.

Handicraft market

The event in NYC might be something that my oldest sister is interested in checking out.

Lao Weaving & Culture Festival presented by Silk Moon Gallery, for those that live in Sebastapol, California.

It’s the details that make this experience special.

Did you know that you can eat silk worms after the silk has been spun?
Did you know that a number of the dye sources also make great tasting drinks?
On average a weaver can weave around 30 cm a day.

It is nice to see our Lao Textiles at the recent Seoul Friendship Fair 2008, photos by Lao Ocean Girl at the Lao PDR Booth.

My grandmother raised silkworms while my mom was growing up, at any given time a family can look after 10,000 silkworms or more, and according to The Today Show (Broadcast from Laos), it sounds like it’s raining when they’re munching on the mulberry leaves. They eat for about a month, then it would take them about 4 days to make cocoons, then it goes into the pot for boiling.

My mom told me that my grandmother quit raising silkworms because on morning, one of the monks came for morning Alms Giving and he said that he heard sorrowful cries every time that he passes her house, and he believed that it was from the silkworms because they have (had) to go into the hot boiling pot. I’m not sure if he meant the live worms only, or also meant the dead ones because Lao people believed in spirit, and silkworms I believed would have spirit as well. This might sound ridiculous to some, but to my grandmother it wasn’t, she felt guilty, and it must have haunted her each time she had to boil the cocoons to get the silk, knowing that the worms are inside.

A butterfly in Luang Prabong, Laos , photo by Mandalaybus at Flickr

This is based on a real life story in Koosang Koosom Magazine, by Tipsord, written in Thai Language, translated by Ginger.

I’m going to take you back to the year 2540 (1997), my mom was diagnosed with Leukemia (blood cancer) and passed away peacefully on May 12, which was the first day of a new semester; I was in the second grade at the time.

When I got home from school, I saw a coffin in the driveway, I was in state of shock but since I was just a kid, I can’t remember if I was sad, the only thing on my mind at the time was having fun and playing with my friends. My aunt then took my brother and I to my mom’s room to pay our final respect by ‘grarp’, which I bowed on my knees and placed my hands together into an upside down Y and placed them by her feet.

At that moment,…it hit me, I feel that my mom is no longer with us; I sneaked off to cry by myself.

The first day, the funeral service was held at our house, my aunt ‘ni mon’ (invited) the monks to perform chanting ceremony. That night I dreamed of my mom, she came to see me and was crying. I recalled that in my dream she spoke to me, “come and let mom hug you.” But I was so afraid that in my dream, I ran away.

The next morning, I told this to my grandmother, she said that my mom must have been worried about me and that is why she came to visit.

The second day, we moved my mom’s casket to Wat (Buddhist Temple) and we had an open casket ceremony where we were allowed to wash her face with coconut juice (it is a traditionally belief that coconut juice is a purify water and a custom to use coconut juice to wash the face of the dead)

Since the Wat (Temple) didn’t have an icebox, to solve the problem, we brought in some ice cubes to place inside the casket (each piece is quiet big and heavy, not like small ice cubes that we often use with drinks.) The undertaker carefully loaded the ice cubes into the casket, as he was about to finish loading the last piece, he accidentally dropped it on my mom’s shoulder. The only persons that witnessed this were the undertaker and his helper, my aunt, and I.

That evening, another one of my aunts told us that she took an afternoon nap and dreamed that my mom came to visit her and said, “My shoulder hurt.” My aunt and I then walked over to my mom’s casket, lifted her sleeve to see her shoulder, we were shocked to see the bruised where the ice had fell on her, we looked at one another and didn’t say a word.

My mom’s funeral service finally came to a closing, and then strange things started to happen…

At night, the dogs started to ‘horn’ (howling, Thai and Lao dogs have very distinctive howling when they see ghost, sort of long and drawn out howling) from the beginning of the Soi (block) heading toward our house, which is at the end of the Soi. This happened at least 2 to 3 times, as if someone was heading toward our house, and certain night, we would smell the incense, but no one lit it, and it couldn’t have been our next-door neighbor because we don’t live that close to them.

Then one night, there were no one home except for my bother and I; my aunt went to pick up my grandmother and dad at my other grandmother’s house. At that time it wasn’t that late, might have been around 7 pm, I went to sleep early and didn’t know that my brother had sneaked off to his friend’s house that is in the same Soi (block) and left me by myself.

I was half awake, half asleep, and all I could remember was that I heard the dogs howling but I wasn’t afraid because I thought my brother was with me. Then I felt a hand stroking my hair to comfort me until I fell asleep. I thought it was my brother at the time, so I didn’t bother to open my eyes to look.

I’m not sure how long time has lapsed, but my sister came to wake me up and took me over to her house that is about 7 Soi from us and didn’t give me any explanation. The next morning, she brought me back home and told my aunt, grandmother, and father that last night whilst she was asleep, she felt someone tucking her blanket, and when she woke and sat up on her bed, she saw my mom standing at the foot of her bed and said,

“Your sister is home alone; can you go take care of her?”

My sister said that she was afraid and in state of shock, she took off running, got in her car, and drove straight to my house. When my bother got home, they gave him the third degree, and I later asked him when did he leave? He said right after I fell asleep.

…which meant that last night, the person that stroked my hair was not my brother, but it was my mom. My grandmother thought that my mom must have been worried about me and that is why she went to ask my sister to come over.

Since then I have not dreamed of mom again but I often Tum Boun (Merit offering) for her until April 11 of last year, my brother became a novice monk to pay respect for his elders, both living and passing. That night, I dreamed that I saw a picture of my brother as a novice monk sitting at the sanctuary hall and sitting next to him were my mom and grandfather that passed away. In the photo, my mom and grandfather were smiling and seemed so happy.

I believed she came to tell me that she received the merit that was offered to her by my brother, I feel sad that I lost both my mom and grandfather but I’m glad that they’re in a better place now.

Several weeks back, I had a visitor at work; I was the first to have spotted the Luna Moth near the entrance of my work place, Luna Moth from Latin meaning moon, a large mostly pale green American saturniid moth with long tails on the hind wings. It’s rare and I was fortunate enough to have seen one. One of my friends told me that it’s believed that your passed loved one has come to visit you, I often wonder how true this is.

Mother’s Day is around the corner, for some of us, they are no longer with us physically but will always be with us spiritually. It is very difficult for our family during this time of the year; this is the second Mother’s Day without our mom. We often buy plants or flowers for our mom during Mother’s Day, some of my sisters are still doing this. My younger sister bought a Chinese pear tree for her this year, I bought one before her passing, she wanted to plant one so that her grandchildren can enjoy the fruits, my younger sister was afraid that it might not bear fruits because this type of fruit tree needs two to cross pollinate, my dad planted the tree last weekend.

My third sister’s husband that lives in NYC bought roses for my mom last weekend for Mother’s day, my mom loved roses. My sister placed the vase in her bedroom and came back out to the living room, to her surprise; she found a clipped rose on the floor. This puzzled her because she arranged those roses herself; she went back to check on the roses and sure enough, one was clipped off from the vase. She asked her husband and he didn’t do it, and her little girl that is a year old was asleep at the time. We all believed that it was my mom trying to communicate to my sister, to tell her that she received her flower, thank you for her Mother’s Day gift.

My second sister that lives with my dad also dreamed of my mom. My mom’s banana trees were kept in the garage during the winter months until recently, my dad planted them outside. My sister dreamed that my mom told her to go and cut off the banana’s leave that was dangling from the banana tree and use it to make ‘mok padek’ for her to eat, that she has a craving for it. When my sister woke up, she went to look at the banana trees, sure enough, one leave was dangling from one of the trees, my sister was baffled and thought to herself, how did my mom know? I believed that when you dream of your passed loved one, that they came to visit you.

As for me, I occasionally dreamed of my mom, but not often enough. I visit my dad and sister every weekend, often spend either Saturday or Sunday with them, one thing that puzzled us is the interference on their TV, it would make that loud noise, normally during the first 15 minutes that we were there, my dad has cable and this doesn’t happen except during the time that we came over. I often feel that my mom is trying to communicate with us, sort of say “Hi, I see you visit today.”

As a Mother’s Day gift, I think I’ll buy her white roses (her favorite) to take to Wat (Buddhist Temple,) she is too far for us to visit, but we’ll visit her soon enough. Happy Mother’s Day mom.

For those fortunate ones, please give your mom a hug for me, and don’t forget Mother’s Day, you don’t know how lucky you are.

In the next day or so, I will be translating another ghost story from Koosang Koosom Magazine; it is called “As For Mother’s Love, This Holds True Even in Spirit”

Related post: All About My Mom