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Have you ever wonder as to why we don’t know the people that we want to know, and those that we know is not exactly what we thought they are, might be because of how we perceived them.
I once heard a story, there was an elderly lady talking to a child. She has a coin in her hand and asked if the child wants to know what it was, if yes, then to knock on the table 5 times, the child did as told. She then opened her hand and there sat an ordinary coin. After that, she closed her hand into a fist, and asked the same question again. But this time, the child lost interest and really did not want to know, the truth is, the child knew that in that hand was just an ordinary coin and there was nothing special about it.
I guess it’s only human nature to want to know, to have and to hold, and we would do almost anything to find out, to get to know but once we know what it was, we then lost interest. If I was to ask you, have the coin change, is it less in value? The answer is no, the value of the coin is still the same because it’s still the same coin even before and after we saw it. It’s the feeling of wanting to know, the feeling that we can’t reach, the feeling that we can’t have that is making something valuable, but once we know what it is, we no longer see the importance of it.
As for certain individual that we thought highly of because s/he is popular, everyone want to get to know, want to be closed to, but once we engaged in conversation, we know right away that there is nothing special about that person, sometimes thing is not what it seems. This holds true for many celebrities, everyone want to get to know them because they look good, have a sense of humor, but once you have a chance to sit down and have a hart to hart talk, there is nothing special about that person, they are very ordinary, they can’t think for themselves but arrogant, those feelings that you have at the very beginning sort of vanished, you no longer want to know them.
I’m not one to believe in Karma but after reading Laotian Teacher’s post on Karma, I think it is somewhat interesting. I guess I don’t believe mainly because I seem to be a magnet on the bad things and attracted strange people into my life and I’ve come to a conclusion that niceness is not the answer to every situation.
I came across a reading about Karma in my Buddhist Sunday School Lessons book that I thought was interesting and like to share with those that have interest. Karma is a Sanskrit word meaning action. As we Buddhists use the term, the meaning is clearer if we describe it as action and reaction, or act and result. Another way to describe Karma is cause and effect.
There are several good examples given in the book; when we plant rice, we do not expect a harvest of pepper. We do not make a fire in order to produce coolness. In everything in life we find that if we know all the causes, then we can reliable predict the effects. For example, we know that if we are careless with matches, a fire is likely to result and many even destroy the house. But we also know that we can never burn down the house with ice. It is the nature of fire to burn and destroy. Ice has a different nature and produces entirely different effects. Let us think of producing something else. Let us pretend we want to bake a cake for someone’s birthday. We know we must have flour, salt, milk, flavoring, etc., and must mix all these ingredients carefully. Then, when we have put the batter in the pan, we must have the oven at a certain temperature. After leaving the batter in the oven a certain length of time, we take out the cake tin and let it cool. Then we have a cake. The cake is the effect or result, and the mixing of the proper ingredients and the right length of time in an oven at the right temperature is the cause.
The Buddha taught us that happiness and unhappiness are effects or results, just as much as fire is a cause that produces heat as a result. If we lead selfish, ignorant, evil lives, we can expect only such results as go along with selfishness, ignorance, and evil. Bad acts always produce bad results; good acts always have good results.
Probably many children have saving banks at home, and put some coins in the bank each week. Our thoughts and actions are like putting money in the bank of life; bad thoughts and actions are like counterfeit money. Sometimes people are arrested for trying to spend counterfeit money, either made of lead or else printed imitations of real money. Misfortune is sure to come to anyone who tries to spend such money. Misfortune is also sure to come to anyone who puts bad thoughts and bad acts into “The Bank of Karma.” We can save up real happiness only if we think good thoughts and do good acts. No one can ever rob us of our karma. Evil results always come from evil causes; good results always come from good causes. If we wish to be happy, then we must store up causes of happiness, just as we plant rice seeds in order to get a harvest of rice.
It is extremely important for all people to keep in mind the importance of getting a practical understanding of the Law of Karma. If we have this understanding then we shall be able to control results by controlling causes. We shall know that doing good produces happiness, and doing evil produces unhappiness. This law of Karma is a very deep subject, but even a small child can understand the main idea and learn how to live in such a way that happiness will result.
I think it’s an interesting concept and I’ve been practicing it without knowing, but an act of niceness doesn’t always warrant goodness in return because sometimes niceness attracts creeps, weirdos, stalkers, trolls, and scammers out there, if that act of niceness attracts these bad things, then one should cease doing nice things, cut off all interaction with these creeps, weirdos, stalkers, trolls, and scammers, then they will go away. But I’m still glad that the Law of Karma still works its magic that niceness also attracts nice people as well.
- Thin Red Line
This is based on a book called Buddhism a Living Message, by Thera Piyadassi, this is especially helpful for those that like to say inappropriate things to people, is it really necessary to play mind game?
Our nervous exhaustion is increasing with the speeding up of our life. People often return home after work with their nerves on edge. As a consequence, their concentration is weakened, and mental and physical efficiency are lowered. Man becomes easily irritated and is quick to find fault and pick a quarrel. He becomes morbidly introspective, experiences aches, pains, and suffers from hypertension and sleeplessness. These symptoms of nervous exhaustion clearly show that modern man’s mind and body require rest, rest of a high quality.
Let us bear in mind that certain aloofness, a withdrawing of the mind from the busyness of life is a requisite to mental hygiene. Whenever you get an opportunity, try to be away from the town and engage yourself in quiet contemplation; call it yoga, concentration, or meditation. Learn to observe the silence. Silence does so much good to us. It is quite wrong to imagine that they alone are powerful who are noisy, garrulous, and fussily busy. Silence is golden, and we must speak only if we can improve on silence. The greatest creative energy works in silence. Observing silence is important. We do that in our meditation.
People are so used to noise and talk, that they feel lonely and out of place if they do not speak. But if we train ourselves in the art of cultivating silence, we will learn to enjoy it.
Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember that there is peace in silence. We must take time off to go into retreat in search of silence. We must, now and then, break away from motion to remain motionless. It is a peaceful form of existence. In lonely retreat, we experience the value of silent contemplation. We make an inward journey. When we withdraw into silence, we are absolutely alone to see ourselves as we really are, and then we can learn to overcome the weaknesses and limitations in ordinary experience.
Time spent in secluded contemplation is not wasted; it goes a long way to strengthen a man’s character. It is an asset to our daily work and progress if we can find the time to cut ourselves off from routine and spend a day or two in quiet contemplation. This is surely not escapism of living in idleness, but the best way to strengthen our mind. This is beneficial introspection; for it is by examining our thoughts and feelings that we can probe into the inner meaning of things and discover the powers within.
- Ga Lah Tae Sar
Buddhism makes us understand our own character. Hence, if we can understand our own mind and recognize our own weaknesses then we can easily train it. This is the only way to gain peace and happiness. The Buddha taught us how to analyze our mind so that we can understand where our defilements lie and why disturbances arise to pollute the mind.
The Buddha was such a practical teacher that he just did not stop there. He went on to the next stage and showed us how to change that mental attitude. If our minds are conditioned to be hot-tempered, selfish, greedy, jealous, and cruel, the Buddha taught us different methods to train such minds. He said that ‘mind is the forerunner of all mental states.’
Whatever we do, it all begins in the mind. This reminds us of the well known principle embodied in the preamble to the UNESCO Charter on Human Rights which states: ‘Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defenses of peace can be constructed.’ So if we stop evil thoughts from arising in the mind we will be capable of only doing good. This is the way to practice Buddhism. But many people have generally tended to ignore all the important aspects of the Buddha’s teaching and have instead concentrated more on the ritualistic aspects, thereby looking for an easy way out of suffering. In Buddhism, we cannot gain salvation by simply pleasing or praising the gods without training the mind.
Then there is the Supreme Wisdom. Wisdom here is not simple academic or scientific knowledge. We can gather vast book knowledge through learning but that in itself does not bring wisdom. Wisdom cannot appear in the mind as long as selfishness, hatred, and delusion predominate. It is only when these mental hindrances are completely erased from the mind and replaced with mental development that real wisdom will appear.
I’ve met many nice, interesting and funny people when I started blogging and came across many not so nice ones. As you can see, my English is not perfect because it’s not my first language, more like my third, but most of my readers are very forgiving, and one of the reasons that I blog is to improve my English, as for some of you reading this might say I’m writing Engrish, as one of my readers was kind enough to point this out to me.
When I was growing up, I was taught to follow the golden rule, of course, my parents didn’t teach me in this order nor we had to sing the song of the golden rule, but the concept was the same; the song of the golden rule by C. Albers goes ,
“Do unto others as you wish
That they should do to you.
Then would this earth a heaven be
So beautiful and true.
Be kinds to those who are unkind
Give love to those who hate;
Thus will your merit be untold,
Your blessings very great.
Give unto all the best you have
To all a favour do,
And all those blessings in their time
Will then come back to you.”
Sometimes I find it hard to follow this simple rule, even citing it wrong at times, and changed it to “Do unto others as they had done to us…” which at the end only lead to hatred and never ending battle war of words. I knew in the past that I wrote a lot of stuff that offended people, but that’s a personal opinion, and I believe that one should be allowed to express his/her opinion on his/her personal blog.
As I was reading some of the blogs that I came across, I notice that I’ve been turned off by some of the terms that were used, it came off as if the author is being too arrogant, as if his/her sh*t doesn’t stink, all s/he’d post about is how wonderful and smart s/he is, sort of the impression of Miss Universe beauty pageant (not referring to you K), as for me I figured this out when I was 4 years old, might have been younger and I can’t remember, but I think some are still clueless as adults.
Most people don’t have time to read, if that’s the impression that you’re giving off, then most likely people won’t read and might not ever visit your blog again, I often blog hopping and if I find one that I really like, then I’ll add it to my favorites, but otherwise, I’ll just hopping along.
This is also true in the language that you use for business, whether it’s on your resume, company website, or even a casual business conversation. I’m very skeptical of anyone that is over-reaching self-promotion, and when they use the words such as “best, terrific, wonderful,” I think they reduce their credibility, but what they should be using are factual descriptions and specific information to make positive impressions. The language that you use can give the impression that you’re thoughtful, knowledgeable, and prudent, or, conversely, it can make you seem naïve and inexperienced.
I think being upfront and straightforward, even understated tone can be helpful, and let the information you convey speaks for itself. It’s important that you don’t try to pass as someone else, I recently received a business proposal for me to write a review for a web site and the person claimed that he’s in charged of the online marketing for that company, little did he know that the world is a lot smaller and references can be checked, even if we’re living in different part of the world. This is the type of people that most blogger need to be aware, but if he had been upfront with me and said that he needed help because he wanted to get their account, then I’d have wrote the review for him, no questions asked, and not even checking his references.
As I was flipping through one of my new Thai magazines that I received in the mail the other day, I came across a photo of myself, well, not really me but even I couldn’t tell that she wasn’t me. It’s like a déjà vu moment; I must have that generic look or something. This happened to me more than once.
One time, it was several years back, I was at work, went into a kitchenette to get my morning coffee, and saw someone smiling at me, a perfect stranger, but yet something about him that looked familiar. I quickly smiled back, said hi, got my coffee and left. What stuck in my mind was his familiar smile; it’s almost the image of me looking at myself in the mirror, strange but so true. I found out through one of my co-workers that he’s Malaysian, never knew his name, but he’s out there looking very much like me, could easily pass as my twin brother.
Another time was when I was living in NYC; I was in my early 20s. My third sister told me that she ran into a Chinese girl that looked just like me, same height, face, and didn’t realize that it wasn’t me until she started talking to her, which she thought was me. It must have been that look of “Do I know you?” that made her realized that it wasn’t me. She told me about it later, I thought nothing of it, and maybe I’d run into her one day.
Photo originally uploaded by: tcnineteen
The reasoning behind friendship for most of us is that sometimes it just happens, but at certain times, it’d seem like crossroads that two people would never meet again. I often ask myself as to why it’s this way, just like at certain time that I’d meet someone that’s really nice, but yet afraid to approach or get to know that person, might be that I’m afraid that they might think that I need something from them.
I guess it’s from my own personal experiences and looking from my own prospective that most that approached me because they want something from me, such as wanting me to do something for them, not truly want to be my friend, and once they get what they want and have no need for me anymore, then it’s the end of that friendship, this type of friendship is with condition and I seem to have a lot of that lately. As for this reasoning, I’m very cautious in approaching people, especially if they made it known to everyone how successful they’re as an individual, afraid that they might think that I need something from them.
Photo by Jfchenier
Sometimes I get so disappointed with people that I came across, whether it’s on the internet or real life because they want to appear to the general public in a certain way, but in reality it’s totally the opposite.
I consider myself a person of my word and always try to deliver what I promised to people, whether it’s on the internet or real life, I’m that same person. I might not have a real name or face to go with my words, but I’m very sincere in what I say or do, but sadly, I can’t say that everyone is like this and very sad to know that certain individuals that I knew are not like this, it’s all about talk but no walk.
Why do people just talk the talk and not walk the walk that bothers me. I think deep down inside, you know yourself the type of person you are, but what I don’t understand is why you are trying to fool others in thinking that you’re someone else, obviously, your actions do not match with your words.
Happy, sad, success, and failure…disappointment…I’m sure we all feel this way at one time or another. At certain times, it might feel like eternity, especially if we’re in a bad situation, as Lao people would say, darkness in eight corners, why eight corners, I’m not sure as to why, but I’m thinking that it should only be four since a room only has four corners (walls), but basically, it means that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. [Edit: per my co-worker, a room has 4 corners, plus 4 more corners from the ceiling which explains as to why a room has 8 corners]
However, while we’re there, there are good things that came out from a bad situation, hard to believe, but I had been there many times myself, and these are the things that I’ve discovered,
- It made me stronger.
- It made me realize the value of happiness that it’s priceless.
- It tests my ability, placed me in a situation that I had never thought possible.
- It made me do things that I might not have done, such as to alleviate my suffering.
- It gave me the ability to problem solving, like anything else, practice makes perfect.
- It made me more patient.
- It taught me to be careful, not to be too trusty.
- It taught me to see the world at a different light, that it’s a lot bigger than I thought.
- It helps me to see who my true friends are.
- It lets me know who really care for me, and love me.
- It lets me know who will help me in my time of need.
- It made me aware of the ability of my friends, and me.
- It made me aware of the true meaning of laughter, that it’s very important in my life.
- It forced me to see the world in a positive light that anything is possible but first I have to conquer and overcome my obstacle.
The key is positive thinking, “Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” ~Francesca Reigler
I feel for those that are color blind, their world is literally black and white but definitely not by choice. I’m thankful to be able to see in colors, the world is such a beautiful place, but sadly, some of us are still mentally seeing things in black and white. I was once guilty of this myself, I had the tendency to see things in black and white, but I’ve gotten a lot better because seeing things in black and white only lead to many disappointments in life. Still, there are many people out there that are still seeing things in black and white, and if they ask you a question, they’d expect a yes or no type of answer, but in reality, it’s not like that. Seriously, look around you, the world is not in black and white, life is full of colors, and answer various according to our mood at the time, today my answer might be a yes, and tomorrow I might feel differently about the same issue.
Many times, when we’ve a problem, we’ve the tendency to see the problem in black and white, and it’s frustrating because we might not be able to resolve that problem with just a plain black and white answer. If I’ve a problem, I like to look at it from a different angle, from another person’s point of view, and many times, I’d ask another person for their opinion, such as friends or family for advice. I’m not one to be ashamed to ask for help, that’s what friends and family are for; some of you reading this might be nodding your head right now, “Yeah, I remember Nye came to me for advice.” Okay, you can stop smiling now. Did I sound stupid to any of you?, probably not, I like to know what my options are before making a decision; there might be a better solution out there that I’ve not thought of, but that’s just me. For some, this might not be a good idea, and if you’ve too much pride, then try to look at the problem from a different perspective, the solution might be right in front of you, it’s just not in black and white.
There is a story that I like to share, I read this a while back and can’t recall if it’s from a magazine or a book, but one thing for certain is that it was written in Thai language. I like this story because things might not appear as is, solution might not be in black or white, and it’s crucial to be able to think on your feet.
Continued from Part II, Article from Kwanruen Magazine, written in Thai language by Mayavadee, translated by Nye.
You’re familiar with your own shadow…what about a shadow of your life? Have you ever seen it nor aware of its existent?
You see your own shadow, from your physical being, from the reflection in the water, from the reflection in the shiny metal, then most often, from the reflection that you see everyday in the mirror. You look at your outer appearance, as if to look for beauty, which is given to you by nature, but it seems that you’re not pleased with what nature has given you. What is beauty? All varies according to regions I’m afraid; beauty to one person might not be to another, that’s why beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Where does it all begin? Let us start with the sunlight, it has not just provided us with brightness, without sunlight no life would have came into being on your planet; it’s in many ways essential to your existence here on earth. Light rays form waves and carry energy; some light has long waves and does not carry much energy, other light has short waves, very close together, that carry lots of energy, which may be harmful such as the ultraviolet light. Don’t be surprised that I know about light; since I’m a spirit, an energy form, then light should be something that I’m familiar with, a second nature to me.
I should be the one asking you a question, ‘Why do you not know your own spirit?’
Continued from Part I, Article from Kwanruen Magazine, written in Thai language by Mayavadee, translated by Nye.
Those that committed Borb (sin) will definitely pay for their actions; all living creatures in this world will revolve around their Gomh (sin), sort of like the circle of life. You must have faith, many Buddhas have had shown us that by properly training oneself, one can reach the state of nirvana, therefore you should ask yourself, do you have faith in yourself?
Your understanding of the truth is your business, not mine, but have you once asked yourself what is the truth?
I’ll explain it to you, knowledge of the truth may be of 2 kinds, the first, knowledge consisting in understanding, and the second, knowledge consisting in penetration, e.g. realization. Amongst these, knowledge consisting in understanding is mundane and it’s arising with regard to the extinction of suffering, and to the path, is due to hearsay, therefore not due to one’s realization of the super mundane path. Knowledge consisting in penetration however is super mundane with the extinction of suffering as object, it penetrates with its functions of the 4 truths (in one and the same moment), as it is said, “Whosoever, O monks, understand suffering, he also understands the origin of suffering, the extinction of suffering and the path leading to the extinction of suffering.” On the other hand, the knowledge of the mundane kinds, the knowledge of suffering by which various prejudices are overcome, dispels the personality-belief; the knowledge of the origin of suffering, dispels the annihilation-view; the knowledge of extinction of suffering, the eternity-view; the knowledge of the path, the view of inefficacy of action.
To understand where spirits come from you must fist have tranquility (which lead to understanding the 5 groups of existence), and insight.
Then you have to ask, ‘What are they?’
See, human came up with these terminologies, at the end; you are stuck with your own language.
I attended my first 2 years of high school in NYC, and have a Vietnamese friend that I found her to be a bit odd, but yet very interesting. There was one time that she wrote a letter to her family for them to open in the event of her death. She said that you never know, what will happen if you die unexpectedly, at least you have a chance to say good-bye to them and they’ll know how you truly feel about them. It was difficult for me to read her letter, and I’m not sure how she wrote it without crying, I don’t think that I could do it. Her letter described in detail of what she was leaving for her family in the event of her death, and how much she loves them; and my name was in there too, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what she was leaving for me. I moved to a different state and completed my high school there, and by the time, I moved back to NYC for college, she went away for college like many of my friends. I’ve not kept in touch with her, or heard from her since. I often wonder from time to time what she’s been doing or where she’s living now.
What made me think of her is this article that I’m reading, it’s from Kwanruen Magazine, written in Thai language by Mayavadee, which after I finished reading it, I’m still a bit confused, really can’t make heads or tails. I’m translating it and it’s very difficult to translate because of her usage of words and almost talking in riddles, but you can tell me what you all think of it. It was called a letter to your spirit or a letter to yourself.
It has been over 2 months since my mom passed away, I often dreamed of her, and have so many stories to tell but every time I would sit down in front of my computer, my emotion gets the best of me. My sisters told me to write about the stories surrounding her death; true stories that we encountered; I can’t say that they would qualify as ghost story, strange phanominal, or mystery. Maybe someday, I’ll have the courage to share but as right now, it’s still seems like a nightmare to all of us, I hope you all will understand. [Edit: The story about my mom, Who's There?]
I read this in Koosang Koosom Magazine and is a bit alarmed by what had happened. It is written in Thai language and I’m translating this so that if you ever encounter anything similar to this to think twice before helping someone, no matter how innocent they may look or appear. This is a real life story and took place in Thailand.
I want to warn everyone because I don’t know when this will happen again, and who will be the next victim. I think I would feel much better if I’m able to tell everyone of what happened to my friend.
It was around 18.00; my friend got off from work, and was walking down the street to get to the bus station. She saw a girl approximately 7 or 8 years old, sat at the curb crying. She felt sorry for the little girl, so she approached her and asked ‘what’s wrong?’ The little girl told her that she was lost and asked if my friend would take her home. That little girl handed my friend her address, which was not too far from where they were.
Original source: Kullastree Magazine, written by Gomjohn Louyaphong in Thai language, translated by Nye
When we walk in the mall, in the elevator, on the airplane, or even when we call somewhere, we usually hear ‘a lady’s voice’. The voice that is beautiful like a melody telling us what to do or where to go. Then arise a question; what role does ‘a lady’s voice’ plays in today society.
If you look inside one’s home, ‘a lady’s voice’ plays two contradicting role that would not seem possible. On one side of the spectrum, ‘a lady’s voice’ plays the role of a mother, the voice of melody that sings to put her baby to sleep. When she does engage in conversation with her baby, there’s so much love and caring in her voice that creates that bonding and imagination for her baby to want to learn and explore the outside world. If you look closely, the expression on her baby’s eyes upon hearing his/her mother’s voice, there is so much love and trust, joy and happiness for both the mother and baby. ‘A lady’s voice’ that her baby is hearing is full of love and caring which sounds like a voice from heavenly above to help guide her baby’s heart and soul to grow up to be a better and stronger person in today society.
But on the other side of the spectrum, as the kid gets older, approaching his/her teenage year; ‘a lady’s voice’ inside one’s home, the voice of a mother starts to change to be a voice that is annoying, nagging, and complaining. The tone of that melody would be replaced with a high pitch voice that is a bit fast and more repetitive, such as ‘did you eat, did you take a bath, did you do your homework’ (even though ‘a lady’s voice’ might still be full of love and caring the same way as before.) Which is no different from a voice of a young wife inside the house, from the voice of an angel that gives her husband strength to go out and do better things in life(honeymoon stage), to the voice that is annoying with a hence of gossip.
According to Dr. Nakvechara, love and disease of love is two very different things. Love is not a disease; it is the best medicine that will make us human happy, energetic, and the drive to be prosperous. However, the disease of love is love that the individual might not have an understand of the true meaning of love or they might be in a situation that might be inappropriate.
There are more and more people turning toward psychiatrist for help in this subject matter. These people are suffering from love in different shapes and forms, such as disappointment, anger, sad, suicidal, upset with times and money spent, lonely, have no hope, and afraid to love again. Keep in mind that all of the above are not love, but a disease of love, which only bring you unhappiness. Real love will only bring you happiness and you have to be able to distinguish the difference.
Let us look at the causes of the disease of love.
When I was little, I attended school in Thailand. We lived in a rural area and our school art supplies were pretty much pencils and papers. My art teacher taught us that when we use a pencil to draw a picture and if we make a mistake, we couldn’t use an eraser to erase our mistake. At the time, I didn’t understand why it was that way. All I knew was that when I made a mistake such as drawing a line that was crooked, but I wanted the line to be straight and beautiful, and every time I reached for an eraser to erase my mistake, I always thought back to the rule that my teacher taught us. At the end, I decided to add on to the picture to make it into something else according to my imagination. For example, if I’m drawing a face and draw an eye a bit too big, then I changed that to someone wearing eyeglasses. I kept doing that not knowing the true meaning or purpose why I was doing it, but it seems to work at the time. I also didn’t understand why I couldn’t use an eraser to correct my mistake, that’s what an eraser is for, why would someone invented it if I couldn’t use it for that purpose. Even though I didn’t intend to draw a person wearing glasses before, after adding on to my original mistake, I would get a beautiful picture of a person wearing glasses. It came out as good as it did because I was focused and confident that I can do a good job and not once did I have to use an eraser.
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