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Have you ever been in a place or situation that it’s so tense and the air is so thick that you could cut it with a knife? I’ve been there and living it. I think many people don’t think before they speak, or maybe we just don’t see it coming, but as for me, I have to say that I am thinking more than I speak this day.
This made me think of a book that I read in December of last year, it’s called the Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. It’s over 200 pages, and I read it in one sitting because it’s that good. The book is about a lady by the name of Kathryn Peterson who took a job as Decision Tech’s CEO, she faces the ultimate leadership crisis and has to unite a team that is in such disarray that it threatens to bring down the entire company. This book defines the dysfunctions of a team, but I think it can also be applied to any relationship, not just work related.
The first dysfunction is absence of trust. Trust is the foundation of real teamwork, and so the first dysfunction is a failure on the part of team members to understand and open up to one another, great teams do not hold back with one another, they are not afraid to air their dirty laundry, they admit their mistakes, their weaknesses, and their concerns without fear of reprisal, and the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability.
The second dysfunction is fear of conflict, if we don’t trust one another then we aren’t going to engage in open, constructive, ideological conflict, and we’ll just continue to preserve a sense of artificial harmony. The conflict here is not the same as passive, sarcastic comments, and false harmony is a result of people holding back their opinions and honest concerns, and I agreed with the book that I’d trade that false kind of harmony any day for a team’s willingness to argue effectively about an issue and then walk away with no collateral damage.
My youngest sister and I are a big fan of Anne of Green Gables, and she emailed me these pictures, and said, “Just in case if you’re wondering what they look like. I don’t think anyone else would know who I’m talking about.” But I bet that there are many out there that are also a big fan of Anne of Green Gables, who could forget Anne, spelling with an ‘e’.
Watch the original Anne of Green Gables
I’ve been searching for Lao folktales, and was told by a friend about SEAsite Laos website that have a good collection of Lao folktales. Then I found a book called Lao Folktales by Wajuppa Tossa with Kongdeuane Nettavong, edited by Margaret Read MacDonald. It’s in hardcover and has some of the great stories that my mom told me when I was little. One of my all time favorite stories is the ghost story called ‘Phi Kongkoi: The ghost Named Kongkoi’ and was surprised to find it in this book as well. Here is the story, told by Suphaphit Khantha, mahasarakham, Thailand, collected and retold in English by Wajappa Tossa.
Once there was a man named Thid Kaew who lived with his old mother. Thid Kaew was a grateful son who took very good care of his mother. He earned a living by fishing. At first he could get a lot of fish, but later there was no fish, not a single fish. So he went to tell his mother about this.
“There must be someone stealing our fish. Why don’t you go and watch the trap?” suggested his mother.
So Thid Kaew went to hide near his fish trap. Later that night he saw a dark shadow emerging from a bush, shrieking, “Kok kok kok Koi koi koi.” It was Phi Kongkoi, the female ghost named Kongkoi.
Thid Kaew jumped on the shadow, and it cried, “Kok kok kok Koi koi koi, (Hungry! Hungry!).” Thid Kaew wrestled the shadow down, and they struggled for a long time. Finally he subdued the hungry ghost. Now she looked beautiful to him. He became the husband of Phi Kongkoi. He was very happy.
As the golden rays of the sun appeared in the sky at dawn, the rooster crowed, “Egg-I-en-egg.” Thid Kaew woke up. He stretched, but…whoops! He almost fell off the high branch of a tree. “Oh, no. How did I get up here?” he asked himself. He called out:
“Help! Help! Thid Kaew can climb up the tree, but not down. Help! Help! Thid Kaew can climb up the tree, but not down.”
It was cool in the morning, but Thid Kaew was drenched with sweat. Nobody came to help. Thid Kaew tried to climb down, with difficulty, and finally he managed to get down from the tree. Once his feet touched the ground, he began running, running, running.
He was running around and around in the forest until dark. He came across a little hut in the field. There he saw Phi Kongkoi, crying, saying, “Oh, dear husband, we can’t live together. I have to go my way. But before I go away, I will give you some treasures that I have.” Then she handed the treasures to Thid Kaew, and Phi Kongkoi disappeared.
Thid Kaew grabbed the treasures and ran back home to his mother. It was real treasure. And the ghost lady was really gone forever. So they lived happily ever after.
This is not as scary as when I heard it as a little kid. According to my mom’s version, he went by the water bank and saw Phi Kongkoi, and she had fish in her mouth, blood dripping from her lips. She said ’Hungry! Hungry!’ and Thid kaew was scared but tried to be brave, he had a flame torch in his hand and told her to open her mouth wide, then wider, and when she did that, he shoved the torch into her mouth. She cried out in pain. I recalled that the image of Phi Kongkoi was very vivid in my mind when my mom told me.
I think if you love Lao folktales, this is a good book to have. There is also another ghost story in the book that I like called Phi Khon Long: The Ghost Who Carried Her own Coffin.
I didn’t forget to translate the ghost story that I’ve mentioned earlier, but I misplaced that magazine and couldn’t find it at the moment. I’ve too many Thai magazines and need to organize it a bit better.
I finally have my wooden picket fence up, and I’ve always dreamed of a white picket fence for my garden, but somehow when it’s finally up, the brown wooden color is more charming, and feels more cozy to me, and I think I might leave it as the natural brown color for now. I’m happy that my dad was able to help me, it took us 2 days to get it done, and by doing it ourselves, I was able to save a lot of money and the labor was not that bad, the hardest work was digging the posts, and I only had 8 posts to dig, then mixed and pour the concrete to set the posts. It is still very cold in our area, and we worked as fast as we could to get it done.
As for now, the garden is still a lawn, and I’ve some idea of which direction I want to go with this. I’ve been visiting Barnes & Nobles to look at gardening books and magazines, and found several that I really like, but it’s awfully expensive and couldn‘t bring myself to buy one. Then one of my friends suggested that I visit the library, which would most likely have a good collection of gardening books.
This is an interesting Thai book about a Hmong man sharing his life with a Thai woman, Tai Far See Kram (Underneath The Blue Sky), summary posted here.
Wherever you are, when you look up, you see the same sky. The same everywhere, the soft blue hue with white fluffy clouds floating up above us.
When I was little, one of my favorite books to read was A Valentine Fantasy. It is a story about how Valentine’s Day came about. I believed that every day is a special day, but most lovers around the world choose to celebrate this day, February 14th…Happy Valentine’s Day to all.
A Valentine Fantasy, By Carolyn Haywood
Once there was a boy named Valentine.
At his birth, his uncle, a famous goldsmith,
gave Valentine a beautiful bow
and made a set of gold-tipped arrows for it.
Valentine was indeed a fortunate child.
As he grew up, he went to live with his uncle and learn his art.
His uncle also taught him how to use the bow and arrows,
and he became a fine marksman.
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