K Speaking! has tagged me, on 10 random facts about my mom, as some of you might have known that she passed away January of this year, we all miss her a great deal and this is very difficult for me to write about her.
1. My mom gave birth to 8 girls, all natural births by midwife in Laos, and she breast-fed all of us, if I sound a bit intelligent, I have her breast milk to thank for.
2. My mom had a classic beauty, dressed very stylish but yet very conservative. She made her own clothes, and was a seamstress in Laos, she worked at home while caring for all of us. She sewed school uniforms for all of us, and also our clothings while we were growing up.
3. When I got old enough to sew, about 10 years old, she made me sew my own clothes and had to wear them also, I hated it at the time, but now thinking back, I’ve her to thank for because now I can sew my own draperies, pillows, bed spreads, and many more.
4. Her hair always looked perfect, one time she was so upset with my hair and wouldn’t let me go to a party with her, I thought my hair looked pretty cool, but I couldn’t stand her nagging, so I finally gave in and let her styled my hair. After she finished with my hair, I couldn’t go out with her because it looked identical to hers, can you blame me for not leaving the house with that classic look? I was only in my early 20s but she managed to make me looked 50s.
5. She was a great cook and made the best-fried chicken. There were so many things that she cooked for us on special occasions, and sadly I never learn how to cook like her. While I was growing up, she always had food on the table for us, for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
6. She devoted most of her time to her family, and hardly had time to go out with her friends or social gathering.
7. When we moved to Thailand, during the farming season we had help from friends to work on the rice paddy field, and my mom cooked enough food for everyone that was there, that was one thing that everyone could count on.
8. Most Laotian parents would have a social gathering of playing cards at their house on the weekend, we never had that growing up, and my mom never left us at home so she could go play cards, she didn’t want to set a bad example for us, which I’m thankful for that.
9. I loved shopping with my mom, even when most of the time I had to pay because she loved to bargain shop, but she did like to use expensive make up, such as Lancôme, Estee Lauder which my sister bought for her. The most I could afford to buy for her was Clinique.
10. The most special moment that we all remember about her was right before she left us, a special part from her eulogy that I wrote,
I’ve never known a stronger woman than her. She lived her life with such grace and strength, and even in her final moment, she did it her way. She defied the limitation of her illness and waited for all of us, her family, to be together and with her. We were all right there by her side when she passed away. In her last few precious moments, she opened her eyes and looked at my dad and then looked at all her daughter’s faces one by one and back again to her oldest daughter. Her eyes had such meaning when she looked at us, even though she didn’t have the energy to say good-bye in words, she said it with her eyes. A good bye with so much love, it filled the room with an indescribable energy. We all took it well because she left us with a smile. That was her way of putting us first, letting us know that she was going to be okay. It was a very special moment that will forever be imprinted in our hearts and memories. She was truly beautiful to the end; her influential love will forever be felt in our hearts, we miss her dearly.
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August 7, 2007 at 12:55 am
K
Hi Ginger, thank you for doing this. I’m sorry to hear the loss of your Mom. I’m not going to even pretend to know what it must feel like to lose a lovedone. Whenever I hear someone has died, I always feel overwhelmed with grief.
Nice eulogy there. I can’t remember exactly what I said at at altar infront of thousands when my Dad died. I was in tears because I didn’t saw him alive for the last time.
So I thought I’d share you this beautiful life’s quote, it says: “When you were born, everyone around you was smiling and you were crying. Live your life so that when you die, everyone around you is crying and you’re smiling” “
August 7, 2007 at 5:17 am
Ginger
Hi K, thanks for your kind words and a beautiful life’s quote, what was so special about her final moment was that she waited for my oldest sister to come in from NYC, Thursday night, then she went into her deep sleep, had Death rattle, and we didn’t expect her to wake up because most don’t.
We took turn staying up with her, and on Sunday morning, about 4 am, I was up with her and noticed a big change, so I woke my oldest sister and dad, then they decided to wake up all my sisters, and we all stood by her bedside, it was almost like a miracle that she woke up and opened her eyes, that all her senses were there and looked at all of us for the last time, and when she died, she didn’t take the last big breath like most that we’ve heard, but she slowly closed her eyes and had a smile on her lips. My mom died at home, we still can’t get over the part that she opened her eyes to say good-bye to us until this day.
Thanks for tagging me on this, because I don’t think I’d have enough courage to write about her story like this.
August 7, 2007 at 5:59 pm
K
I know how you feel. I felt the same thing when my Dad died. You may not actually believed it happened but it may take sometime for us to accept the fact that the ones we loved are not coming back. Sometimes we needed to get busy so that it won’t remind us, we feel depressed, like as if life has no meaning, etc. but other times when you are able to speak to people to say the knew what happened, it’s great when people offered to help.
August 8, 2007 at 12:05 am
Ginger
Thanks K for the words of encouragement, this is my best day ever on my stats, over 300 hits, and it might be because I wrote this post with tears, and I thought that I’d be happy beating my own record high, but somehow, I feel I’m at my lowest. It’s been hard on me lately, but blogging seems to help some. Thanks again for all your kind words; do I need to tag somebody on this topic?
August 8, 2007 at 3:47 am
K
Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry writing this post. It is really up to you if you want to tag people on your blogroll. I enjoy playing me-me’s but most of the time I refused to tag the game along. I am sucha sucker for that. Hahaha.
Cheer up!
August 26, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Sao Lao » Blog Archive » My beloved grandmother
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August 31, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Kay
Hi there,
I am glad i found your “personal” blog…not only do i not mind about the you posting my blog, but i thank you.
i am sorry about your mom, she sounded like a wonderful woman, who worked very hard to make sure all you and your sisters had an easy life. Wow, your life sounds really similar to mine, i am 1 of 7 children =). I hear you on the card playing thing, we never had that growing up because my dad disliked that. What a great eulogy *tear*
Thanks again!
August 31, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Ginger
Hi Kay, thank you for visiting my blog, I’m glad that you don’t mind me sharing your story, I was touched with what you wrote and vividly recall that we did the same thing for my mom, she also passed away on Sunday and we had her funeral the following Saturday, I was one of the white nuns. I think it’s nice to be able to share our Lao tradition with other Laotians that might not be too familiar with our tradition, or even the ones that are familiar; it’s nice to read about it.
My mom was a sweet person, we miss her dearly but it’s nice to be able to share her story with others, and thanks for your kind word, such a nice comment.
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